SCORECARD

STOP PRESS: 28/8/10....FitScandal - Match fixing suggestion..........match report follows

The Hereford Bugle sensationally reported the 2nd biggest scandal to hit cricket - just hours before the News of the World's expose of the Pakistan touring side.

The Bugle alledgedly received information from a source known only as 'Soused Si' in the sung bar of The Barrels last night.

The scandal suggested that over the next two matches major betting syndicates based in leafy Kings Heath would be cashing in on the outcomes and incidents in two high profile matches being played by the world famous pub team The Old Mo.

The headline read 'Fitmen? More like FixMen' and blew the lid on the lucrative earnings to be gained on a so-called Bank Holiday Tour.

The article continued:

"Bank Holiday Tour? More like Bank Account tour" and claimed

"..........the disgraceful antics have been going on for years. The shock disappearance of the team's buffonted money man some years ago is clearly linked with his re-appearance in the upmakret suburbs of Buenos Aeries living a playboy lifestyle".

The Bugle suggested that

"Soused Si, and his partner-in-grime Jimmy the Rat, have guaranteed certain events in the next two fixtures. It's no coincidence that the first match is against a side nicknamed 'The Moles'.

The first event is said to involve a veteran opening batsman, who won't score anything at all for about an hour, then go bezerk playing paddle drives all round the ground before being caught attempting to hook his first ever six. "How likely is that to happen in the normal course of his life" said his golfing partner.

Further revelations reveal that a 'part time spin twin linked with a cartel overseeing patient welfare somewhere in the Midlands' will deliberately bowl an entire over down the leg side before being given yet another over by the bent skip that will include 8 wides and 4 no-balls. Cricket lovers readily admit that these are unlikely scenarios and will further fuel the rumour about the scam."

The Bugle goes on to cite the 2009 tour where

........"the prestigious 'player of the tour' was awarded to the most unlikely suspect last year prompting alleagations of a fix - though this was never proved in court. The coveted shield is usually won by a player with a cultured action or impeccable forward defensive - but in 2009 it went to a player who had not 1 but 4 home made actions. The shockwave was felt in other sports as the tainted actions had been witnessed in not only cricket but hockey and golf as well".

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MATCH REPORT

Barbels and Beer at the Hereford Hippodrome
Moles 86 all out, Fitmen 89-1.
Fitmen win by 9 wickets

The match continued despite the betting scandal and the result was never in doubt – well it wouldn’t be would it?

Calling tails on tour brings the inevitable result and a spell in the field for the FitTourists fresh from an all-nighter at the Hereford Beer Festival at The Barrels. In fact the festival didn’t appear to have stopped as it was packed at 12.20pm and getting back into swing when the reluctant remnants had to make their way across town for an appointment at the race course.

The Sporting Complex is vast and the cricket field is surrounded by the track itself, cohabiting with a golf course on which Johnny H Senior once shot 2 over after 7 holes - so draw your own conclusions on the prospects for hosting the Ryder Cup 2014. To the right, all inside the rail, are all weather hockey pitches, football pitches, athletics stuff and the list goes on. The drawback for this vast space is that the wind has every opportunity to take over – and it very nearly did.

Moles are always welcoming hosts and, despite being a couple short due to a rebel tour that had headed off to Lilleshall, ensured a pleasant if unchallenging test. We’re assured that next year they’ll bring in a few ringers to make it closer.

Toni (5-3-14-2) & Guy (5-2-10-2) kept their ends up and zipped/trundled (not necessarily in that order) their way to a match winning position after only 10 overs. Catch of the day from Jack off his old man, but after Guy peppered his slip cordon he wisely elected to dismiss his victims himself. Less than 25% through the allotted 40 and the hosts were reeling at 26-4. With the luxury of ‘tour spares’ they were both then despatched to the £2 Scrumpy Bar with viewing facilities.

On came someone else (your reporter couldn’t actually see through the site screen blocking the view from the media centre) and something happened. The ‘something’ mainly involved Moles batsmen making regular trips to and from the boundary – that bit we could see.

Nutter twirled uphill from the Mellings Road end and slotted in 8 overs of drifters - that on occasion were swept from left to right by the gale. Meanwhile from the luxury Grandstand end a first ball wicket for the Swanny look alike and current tour trophy holder showed he doesn’t plan to give up the coveted shield lightly. Strickers ended with the remarkable figures of 5-4-5-2.

Barney manfully mastered the breeze and got just rewards with a couple and was joined at the Mellings Road End by golfer/wicket taker Will. An interesting single over spell that threatened to go on for ever whilst he got his sights lined up. Clever stuff though.....after 4 wide wides a straight one on the stumps and hey presto!

And so to the Fitmen reply with a target of 87. It wasn’t going to stretch the team really, and in fact the only thing that happened was Butch running out Butch Snr (and even that was down to a direct hit from Jack guest fielding for the oppo!).

After the fall of the only wicket on 15, a 50 partnership between Tom & Butch eased the Fitmen to the victory target. Butch garnered most of the strike and crafted an elegant 60 before stumps were drawn on a comprehensive rural victory at the Hereford Hippodrome - the equus prevailed over the caballus.