SCORECARD

A win was a Shah thing @ Newbold away

Fitmen 155 - Newbold 91 - Fitmen won by 64 runs

The departure of the Fitmen coiffeur to the Deep South (ish) meant that an interim skipper was required for the trip to Newbold. Skipper Tuckerrrrr’s pleasant stroll in Birmingham’s Premier Park was unfortunately disrupted by the success of LastMinute.com and at 10:15 am we only had 9. Up stepped Messrs Shah (more of him later) and Bice (not so much of him later…) and the full complement of Fitmen were bound for Blue Circle Land.

The hottest day since the last one meant an earlier than normal trip to the clubhouse for liquid refreshments, during which time the mutters were of bat, bat, bat , not bl@@dy fielding in this heat, bat…you get the picture.

Tails was an obvious choice and so it was that the toss was won and the Fitmen elected to.......bat.

So, 28 degree heat, freshly trimmed outfield, and what looked like a shirt front of a track lay ahead. More Doombar please as we watch the scoreboard rattle along.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Bice and Howarth opened up and were met with a barrage of wide uns and low uns. So much so that we were 5 for 0 off 1 ball - 90 per cent of the runs were extras when the first wicket fell. ‘Tis keeping low Geoffrey’ was the mutter from the pavilion. The pitch – previously described as looking good – was really a ‘bag-o-snakes’, and did for Bicey as the cherry clipped his shoelaces on its way to middle stump. Same for Tom…bringing Tahir to the crease to face Hat-Trick ball. Defended. This is when Chiz strolled in at 2:15 only to be met with the urgent request of padding up as you are in next wicket…no…wait…you are in now! Tahir missed one. 13 for 3. Chiz calmly debagged so Ade ran out to the middle – any opportunity to slide up to number 5 is not to be missed!

Si and Ade steadied the ship to take us to drinks – 15 at drinks was looking good on this track now. Ade received the same treatment as the previous 3 wickets before him (31 for 4) and unfortunately the self-proclaimed TurgoMeister fell shortly after the first sip of Turkish water (47 for 5). Another low one did for Chiz, who was looking watchful and steady and on for a few. (53 for 6). New boy Shah smashed one through cover then fell slapping one to point. 59 for 7…

Raj joined Tuckerrrr at the crease and the rebuilding began. Some glorious Raj cover drives and Tuckerrrrrrrrr hoicks down to backward square – aided by some sand wedges between by now bedraggled and sweat laden fielders (should have had some Turkish water…) - brought the score to 143 thanks to a stand of 84.

Ash and Caesar Snr made it to the final over and a score of 155 took us to the tea interval – maybe this would have been 185 had the wicket been oriented North to South – who knows?

During tea Tahir waited like a Public Schoolboy for the Cuppa to accompany his sweet selection – all to no avail. The most exciting thing was, by all accounts, the Indy 500, and that hadn’t even started.

So, back across the Field of Weeds to bowl and field like Fitmen. Raj and Ash opened up and were miserly in their offerings – Raj bowling 4 overs for 11 without luck and Ash taking 1 in his 4 overs for 7 runs. Up stepped Shah – the newest NewBoy and looking like a slightly pacier and younger Mr Sedheva…

Shah’s consistency led to 3 wickets all bowled, whilst TC Snr had to rely on offspring – and the not so low bounce – to bag a 2 fer. Shah 8 overs 3 for 17. TC Snr 8 overs 2 for 17. Excellent work chaps. Tuckerrrrrrrrr and Chuckerrrrrrr then took the reins, and with a mix of Pregnant Giraffe drops, C + Bs, excellent run outs (Tahir) and a Chuck preceded by a very polite apology, the Fitmen restricted the home side to 91 all out. Start the car…

An excellent display to maintain the 100 percent win record – thanks to all.

Acknowledgements

Ash – for bringing along some talent

Asda – for the £3 Turkish water that may bring about Delhi Belly

Mr Shah and Mr Bice (and Family Bice) – for stepping up at the 11th… no 12th … hour.