SCORECARD

Ding Dong, the beer is weak…………..
Fitmen 177-8 beat Old Doms 154-7 by 23 runs

Preface
First things first:
Q When is a beer not beer? A: Manns Bitter, 2.8%. £1.95 a pint

Personal views shouldn't come in to it, but to all intents and purposes this was brown muddy water best drunk to hydrate before batting - as our ‘all round’ [sic] demonstrated against Old Doms.

Those who know more about this than your reporter suggest:
“Aroma 6/10 Appearance 3/5 Taste 6/10 Palate 3/5 Overall 13/20
Best described as 'Tax-dodging driving beer'. Probably just watered down Banks’s mild. Honeyed sultana aroma, soft, honeyed white bread and cereal character thick with condition. Very pleasant.”

I suspect the fact that Marstons (who it appears ‘brew’ it) keep it off their own website speaks volumes (and not the AB volumes – fnarrr). www.marstonsbeercompany.co.uk

Of more interest to the discerning drinker was Thatcher’s Gold Cider, which your ‘on the spot reporter’ (sans spectacles) mis-read as “Thatcher’s Cold” – a bargain at £2:50 per pint.

Part One
On to the main attraction…………….despite practising the toss, Skippperrrrrrrr lost it in the middle and was inserted (which he claims would have been the same as if he’d won).

A steady opening partnership of 47 at test match pace laid the foundations for a competitive total in this season opener. The heady heights of 7 off the first over (IPL-esque – but none off the bat) gave way to measured obstinacy most treasured by Fit Opening batsmen.

When Tom (19) eventually departed trying to glance off the leg stump all looked steady. Cue Chas and Sharif (20) – that partnership of dreams that even Sir Geoffrey would be proud of.

“Yes, no..... grrrrrr...come on”, led to a stranding of our number three and an easy run out decision for the umpire. Soon followed by Captain Duckerrrrrr who will be practising his forward press over the next week or so. Wise words from an on-looked recommended the use of the bat to avoid lbw.

Not long after. the Fitmen’s very own wall was also gone – same shot involving waving around the leg stump. So suddenly from nearly 50 for nowt, the first wobble of the season had begun.

Enter the Tyro and Raj (apologies – this bit is missing from the report due to a trip to the bar - by the time of the return, we’d lost Raj for 13).

So ….enter “The Tyro” and “Geraint (son of Erbin)" on his debut - both renowned for their fighting prowess. The overseas pro took to the ‘bottom pitch’ like a hwyaden i ddŵr and ground out a more than satisfactory 29 off 40 before departure and guiding (with the ‘All Round’) the Fitmen towards respectability. Ash and Big Dave flattered to deceive before Cameo Guy smote 10 off 10 to clinch the run rate of the day accolade. Our ‘star’ snuck in with 44 off 46 and a competitive 178 was the target.

Interval
As ever, tea at Bromsgrove is the main reason for the visit. Sharif hoovered up whatever was possible to balance on a lone paper plate whilst the other 10 snaffled the scraps. The traditional fare (good as always) was supplemented by a slither of ‘deep pan’ and garnished with individual bakewells courtesy of that nice Mr Kipling. Tea (well brewed and in good condition) was another success and some 45 minutes later it was time to waddle south for the 2nd half.

Part Two
A typically ‘mean’ opening salvo from both ends (Ash 6--1-11-1 at 1.83 per over and Guy 8-1-16- 2 @ 2 per over)put Doms on to the back foot and made their task that much harder. Short of a couple of their ‘usuals’ there was the thought that if the Fitmen get through a couple, the dominos might fall.

It didn’t quite work out like that and after the early breaks throughs it was a fighting performance all the way. Whilst Fitmen remained favourites there were a few (who’d have thought eh?) wobbles. Big Dave didn’t like coming up the hill, so got swapped round after a dodgy opening over and proved us right, Chairman C (8-2-26- 1 @ 3.25 per over) wheedled out 1 lbw from 3 shouts (but was punished by ‘the survivor’) and it wasn’t quite all over.

However the run rate continued to rise and once above 7 started looking comfortable. A few twitches of concern included our overseas pro (Dai Hard was the ready-made headline pre-match) had a torrid first over uphill, but soon found his feet and settled the nerves. Fresh from his swashbuckling-ette batting performance the Ade dragged himself in from the top end to tidy up and put the game to bed ending on 8-2 -0- 3 @ 2.5 per over.

At 50 needed off the last 6 or so, a dramatic upping of the gears was required from Doms – and it didn’t happen. A good all round performance from 8 bowlers, two batsmen/keeper and an ‘all roundy’.

Ratings
Beer Rating: 8/10 for value; 6/10 for content. No ‘real’ ale.
Tea Rating: Excellent.