SCORECARD

Fitmen 184-6 beat Sportsman 183 all out by 4 wickets


The build-up didn’t give any hint as to the drama that unfolded on the pocket handkerchief of a pitch handily positioned next to the (£4:40 Peroni) White Swan in Harborne.

A combination of events elsewhere conspired to be the perfect storm for availability and when last weekend’s ton scorer “retired hurt - Chicken Pox” overnight on Friday, Skipper Raj must have wondered what could possibly go wrong next. Fortunately the answer was ‘nothing’ and a famous FitVictory was about to unfold.

Actually there was one last catastrophe - Raj called heads and of course we were invited to field in 32 degrees of baking sunshine.


However, “Cometh the hour, cometh the loan players” as The Sportmen sportingly lent us Rash, Sami and Karan to make up the full complement.

The Fitmen anti-ageist policy duly opened the bowling in miserly fashion in the hope that getting shot of 10 overs cheaply was the most likely strategy to succeed. Helped by the odd low ball and the slow bouncer off a length (that blackened Tuckerrr’s eye) the tactic worked and even clattered some wickets. Caesar Snr (8-3-21-2) bowled through his spell on the basis that a split shift in this heat may render him incapacitated. However, the youthful Head of History (8-0-22-3) had two cracks at it due to having 15+ years on his partner.


With The Sportmen reeling on 29-3 a change of bowling was either going to provide a respite or tighten the screw but with Raj (4-0-27-1) on first change the lid was kept on and after 15 overs the hosts were only on a modest 43.

In the event a partnership of 70 started to take the initiative away from the visitors until a combination of events turned the game once again. First our loanee (Karan) found his line and length after a painful start and trapped top scorer lbw, then a collision between the 2nd top scorer and the Sportsmen’s umpire led to a retired hurt. Bizarrely the collision itself (both ended up on the ground) wasn’t the problem, it was the batsmen’s helmet strap (ooh err matron) that sliced an impressive gash (ooh err again matron) requiring matron to apply stiches off site.

Plaudits were showered on our second loanee as the left arm spinner Sami (who was less than 20% of the body weight of the bowler at the other end) bowled a superb line and length richly deserving his wicket (4-0-25-1). At the other end (to counter the loanees faced with the short cow boundary) the joint ‘man of the match’ all-rounder rattled off a masterclass finishing with 8-3-18-2. Joined at the end by Brentall G the Fitmen were relatively happy at tea with restricting the hosts to 183 all out.

Sorry – can’t remember the tea due to sunstroke but a reviving Aspull’s Harry Sparrow (a relative bargain at £2:85) brought your correspondent round to witness the FitReply.


With all openers either on England duty (practising the Stowford Press at Trent Bridge) or in the sick bay, the ‘make-shift’ opening pair of Frosty and Jack Birkenshaw cunningly disguised as Rob Green made a promising if sedentary start before Rob fell in the 5th over with the total on 10.

First down brought in our 3rd loanee Rash, who despite an absence of 5 years from cricket used his eye for the ball and hassled his way to 12 before falling when the score had moved on to 40. Enter one-eyed Tuckerrrr who kept up the tempo despite contributing only 4 in a valuable partnership of 25. An almost identical partnership between Frost and Skipper Singh moved the score nicely to 85 but when the 4th wicket fell it felt like a wobble. Panic spread through the cow shed as the Chairman strapped his pads on.

But there was no denying the ‘joint man of the match’ (kept hydrated at regular intervals by his valet) as Frosty cut, drove and hoiked his way to his highest ever FitScore of 62 (off 97 balls) and underpinned the victory.

The capacity crowd need not have worried as Sharif was having a purple day. To add to his controlled and aggressive bowling, he had no intention of abandoning Horatio’s command and the pair steered the Good Ship Fitmen towards victory. His unbeaten 46 (off 47 balls) complemented Frosty’s anchor role whilst the coup de grace was administered by one of Sportsmen’s own as Karan (16 not out) drove beautifully to the short boundary for the winning runs with 2 overs to spare.


Another classic at Richmond Hill Road and exhaustion/sunstroke restricted the post-match intake to just a couple – even though Lord F was game for a celebration session. In fact he refused to go straight home and opted to make a personal inspection of the chickenpox victim en route.


A fine game, in excellent spirit and a great deal of thanks to the hosts for supplying the extras we needed. I’m sure we’ll reciprocate one day!