SCORECARD

And They Called Twickenham "The Old Cabbage Patch"...

Fitmen 116-8, Sportsman 117-4 Fitmen lose by 6 wickets

John Major in his history of cricket "More Than Just A Game", writes of the time when the Lord's Ground had a flock of sheep kept at the Nursery End to keep the grass short. The figure of Old Father Time on the pavilion roof carries a scythe to allude further to these more bucolic times. The wicket itself was notorious and scores were unsurprisingly on the low side.

Indeed the length of a cricket pitch of 22 yards has rustic origins. 22 yards is 1 chain and 10 chains make one furlong, or 'furrow long' - the distance a pair of oxen could plough without resting.

The "underprepared" Richmond Hill Road Ground was indeed a throwback to those times, this time looking more like a herd of Pedigree Dairy Shorthorn had been grazing, followed on by a Gloucester Old Spot rooting for truffles. Only the absence of cowpats suggested that this was not the case. Rob Green had prepared for the match with a couple of hours digging the garden and was shortly to regret not bringing the gardening tools with him - a spade might have been more appropriate than a bat on this occasion as we shall see. So too might a barrel of scrumpy on the side, though the offerings at the White Swan are for a more discerning palate, or well lined wallet!

A wrist injury (due to golf, for any of you who might have wondered) had accounted for Captain Butcher, so Adrian Martin stepped into the breach and assembled as strong a line-up as at any time in recent history, but given the agricultural state of the wicket, nothing could be taken for granted.

Winning the toss on this ground is as much a curse as a blessing, but Ade opted to bat and why not, with a formidable batting order such that Chris Jones appeared in the unfamiliar position of No. 11, despite 25 not out the previous week. Rob and Mohammed opened up and it wasn't long before the treacherous nature of the pitch revealed itself. After 12 or so years playing for the Sportsman you would have thought that Rob would have known better than to play back to a half - tracker, and a disgraceful shooter/ grubber / weed cutter took out the stumps. The Sportsman team have a pretty decent bowling line-up these days and need no extra help from the pitch.

To continue the innings, in strode Richard Harris, who was also treated to the whole gamut of grubbers, poppers and downright unplayable, but still managing to strike a perfect 6 over long off. Eventually, he too was undone for 14, and was shortly followed by Humza, Tucker and Geraint before first Sharif and then Ade were able to support Mohammed who had shown his class as a batsman on this pitch, though he must have felt that he was ploughing a lone furrow. His technique was exemplary; playing the ball late, with minimal backlift and quick hands to amass 56 runs - worth 156 at Ashfield!

A total of 116 was seen as highly competitive given the quality of bowling available.

The Sportsman team also possess a number of good batsmen, and with the experience of playing on the 'pitch' each week they were able to deal with practically everything that the Fitmen were able to throw at them. The tactical switch of match ball at half-time may have also contributed: Ash and Geraint being unable to make the badly cracked, varnished ball do much, despite their best efforts.

The openers began confidently and it was only when Sharif bowled a disgraceful full toss that the stand was broken; Geraint taking a smart catch at backward square leg. Ade bowled two hostile overs, hitting exactly the right furrow on the (farm) track before a side-strain ruled out further action. Richard Harris and Chris Jones both toiled valiantly, but were up against some decent bats, especially the Sportsman No. 5 who caused multiple ball substitutions with some brutal hitting.

And so the match was lost in the 19th over. A valiant effort from all concerned. Quite how things would pan out at the Graveyard rather than the Farmyard would be a matter for discussion. Maybe next year?