SCORECARD

Tuckers Trojan’s back to winning ways!


Heavy rain on the Saturday meant that frantic texts were issued by skipper for the day M.Tuckerrrr, demanding the need for trainers/plimsoles/ballet shoes to be worn on the dreaded astro turf pitch at Snitterfield for the Barford game.

Groans all round from the bowling specialists (and Sharif of course who loves a good grumble…GRRRR), as the artificial tracks don’t always offer great seam assistance. What this one did produce was a good amount of bounce, but it was advantage the batsmen compared to the grassy looking wickets on the square and Tucker had no doubt upon winning the toss to select to have a bash with the old willow. (Or new willow - £41 super club for Sunny and a £XXX wand of a Hawk for Gerraint, not yet match ready!)

With Turgio Snr in Majorca drinking the water, which ain’t what it ought ah, the “all round er” A.Martin was asked to accompany Tom C to the middle. What a privilege! With the new cherry leaping around at chin/top of the belly region, Tom (“I haven’t had to hook for 3 years”) looked in control from the off pulling anything short to the boundary with glee. With 55 on the board without loss after 10 overs, it was a perfect start.

Tom then edged a good un’ to their ‘keeper, to allow club leading wicket taker (I’m a bloody batsmen) Taz to enter the battlefield. 3 balls later with spring loaded stumps flapping wildly in the breeze, he was back in the hutch mulling over the prospect of not getting a bowl! Come on our kid!!! 2 quick wickets gave Barford a sniff of an opening, but with a nervous looking Tuckerrrr waddling out to the middle, it was time to re-build. 10 dot balls later Tucks nearly chipped to square leg, before a couple of full bungers slapped to the boundary to refill the confidence tanks.

Drinks were taken with the score at 108 for 2, with Martin slowly acquiring runs and various tweaks and strains across a range of limbs. With a longish boundary and lush outfield, boundaries were hard to come by, never mind how hard you biffed the ball. 13 run 2’s and 50 plus singles had the thighs burning, hamstrings screaming and man boobs bouncing. Tucker was out stumped for 23 just as the 50 partnership was passed letting Sharif grumble his way in. Playing off the back foot he bludgeoned the attack to all parts (mostly straight) on his way to a selfless 35, even running Raj out to add to the entertainment.

The opener was finally out in the 33rd over for a mammoth 83 off 82 balls with the score on 194. With only 6 4’s and 1 6 to show for his efforts this innings will be remembered by a shattered body for many weeks to come. Barford at last had a chance to bowl at the tail to get some wickets to improve the bowling figure carnage, so bringing Sunny (new bat) and Gerraint (borrowed bat) was just what they didn’t need. A quick fire 16 off 14 from Mr Evans was trumped by a monster 30 off the same number of balls, with a 4, 2, 6 off the last 3 balls of the innings, the Fitmen finished on an impressive 257 for 8.

Freshly cut Oranges, mini tomato’s, pickle n cheese sarnies and a selection of micro sweet treats (pickled onion Golden Wonder crisps!!!!???) left the Fitmen agog, but ready for a fielding frenzy. The Singh twins (Raj and Sunny) opened the bowling with a new cherry in hand. Each was trying to outswing the other, with prodigious movement in the air from the off. Sunny “I can’t buy a wicket” was very unlucky, but Raj trundling up the hill managed to get the opener out caught with smart work from Tucker.

With the score at 30-1 off 8, a double bowling change was made, which was to turn the game inexorably in the Fitmen's favour. Chasing a big score, what Barford didn’t need was to be bogged down with some miserly bowling. Who else better to deliver such pitch perfect parsimonious performance, than none other than Pat Fay. Learning his trade on the Wast Hill pudding pitches of now folklore, Pat used swing, changes in pace and bounce to bamboozle the middle order out.

With Chris Jones (allowed to bowl) working tirelessly up the hill, the pair worked wonderfully in tandem to whip out 6 key bats. Pat’s figures of 8-3-14-4 were exemplary but Jones 2-34 should not be forgotten. On a hot afternoon, the thoughts of free ale (JUG for 5 wickets) got the fielders encroaching ever closer to snaffle the catches – 7 in total. The pick were when Sunny nearly decapitated Nutt (Butt in the scorebook) in claiming a catch hit straight at Nutter and also one taken by Sharif at mid-wicket, only 2 balls after evading a “death ball” struck with ferocity at knee height which missed the old patella by inches. A definite brown pants moment, enjoyed by all!

In his final over Pat who had already been shown the yellow for “jug avoidance” bowling, bowled a cracker which was plumb as you like: “not out” apparently, then next ball a full toss which was smacked straight back at Pat, catch taken, caught and bowled and a 5 fer? No – no-ball ! At £3.40 a pint in the bar, I have never seen someone so happy not to get the elusive 5 wicket haul. Akin to the century missed out in our innings!

Gerraint and Nutterrr were asked to wrap things up, which they did in quick time, despite a 10 ball 1st over from super G, Nutter got a wicket off his first ball and finished with 2 fer 10 snaffling the last man to leave Barford all out on 123.

A good spirited game complete, the assembled masses headed to the bar to buy their own drinks with Messrs Martin and Fay looking rather sheepish!