SCORECARD

Belbroughton – Great game, great tea

Fitmen due to social distancing descended on the idyllic Bellbroughton ground nice and early with the promise of a good game of cricket, a lovely clubhouse with a choice of ale and prospect of a sausage and chips tea after play. Now some authors of match report would litter said match report with sausage puns, but you won’t degrade this page as puns are the wurst source of wit.

Toss – no coin was available but the hayfever ridden nose of the skip melt out the grass in the Bellbroughton skippers right had. Toss won – we have a bat please.

Rules – Normal T20 with retire on 30, no extra ball for wides until the last over. Seems fair.

Pre match warm up – Pint of Enville please, complimented by Wassem’s firey Doritos.

Fitmen opened with a century partnership (in ages and experience) as Mr Howarth and Mr Martin strode to the crease. Mr Howarth’s new spectacles brought a new aggressive spectacle by swiping a sweep for four off his first ball. This new found hostility set the standard but sadly was cut short by being stumped on 7 off 7 balls.

Howarth was replaced by Eames batting at 3, looking to banish the demons of the double bounce duck from the weekend. And he did just that. The 2nd wicket partnership between Martin and Eames set up the inning and victory. Martin bashing a strong 31 of 21 balls. Eames’ knock was cultured with offside drives and a sublime straight check drive for 6 one bounce on to B4188 and the into the next field.

Both Martin and Eames retiring after 30, with the option to come back in at the end. This meant the Fitmen down the order had free rein to have a whack. And we did—unfortunately both our blue chip batmans Tucker and Harris both got rare ducks. Cameos came from the youth. Sam Moore (still showing off to the gf) 16 off 12, a big score is just down the corner. A return from exile from Greg Moore 22 off 20; classy knock with a new upsidedown head.

137 was a good or middling score with a big outfield. Tight bowling and a quick turnaround as the prospect of more Enville and Sausages was getting nearer.

What do you call a girl with a sausage on her head – Barbie

Lighting Chalk and guiling Cheese was the fitmen’s new ball partnership. Gregg down the hill has not lost a yard in exile and in form Lock&Plopyer up the hill, made sure the opening Bellbroughton could settle into their innings. Greggy’s spell has tight and controlled 1 for 16 of his 4, great to see.

Tucker kept well behind the stumps back sure no byes were added to the score by pleading wides to the umpires. Skipper Jonesy had 4 overs of medium filth up the hill but picked up a wicket thanks to Harris’ taking a great skier just inside the boundary at mid-off.

The game was won with the control and tight lines of Waseem and Juma in the middle overs. Another highlight was a rare direct hit run out by Jonesy at midwicket, which I could describe in great detail, but in my mind eye it looked exactly like this ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHzL-TIF_Bc). With the oppo needing 10 an over the bowling was rotated until the end.

A workman like 27 run victory for the Fitmen and we retired back to the Enville. Sausages and chips was made even better by Ades special Caribbean style relish. It reminded me of Elvis Costellos new Mediterranean sausage, called Olive Salami I had the other day (last one I promise) . There was even a cheese cob alternative for the herbivores.

A lovely ground, great oppo, golden Enville – perfect evening. As the sun set over the Worcestshire hills plans of hiring a minibus to allow more Envile consumption were created.