SCORECARD

Fitmen Match Report – Harborne
‘If Carlsberg did Sunday’s…Oh what a (nearly) perfect day!’
Pre-match

With no match taking place the Sunday before due to rain in the Leamington area and a ‘tour’ match ‘not meant to be’ this year Fit skipper-for-the-day Samuel.L.Nokia had an abundance of talent at his disposal for this early-season away encounter at the bucolic Harborne CC. At one point in the week there were 15 Old Mo members chomping at the bit for a match. A nice problem to have I hear you say? What would Ed Smith and the outgoing England regime had done? It’s anybody’s guess…Thankfully ‘A Few Good (Fit)Men’ took one for the team with the noble Bal, Timmsy and Sharif selflessly offering to stand down (Thanks lads. N.B. This skipper followed their example by doing the same against Old Dom’s). On the eve of the match, alas, there was to be drama with our Kenya international Juma Abbas unfortunately pulling up with a shoulder injury. With Sharif having not yet turned out for the Fitmen in 2022 the decision was made to promote ‘Our Kid’ to the starting XI. We therefore had a well-balanced side with plenty of batting depth plus a strong looking bowling attack set to be led by the wily Waseem and youth policy speedster Joe Little on his Fit ‘deboo’.

The Toss

Having been told it was a 1pm start we assembled at the picture-perfect postage-stamp ground (perfect for Sharif!) adjacent to the 1st team pitch only to find out that the oppo skipper Oscar was feeling rather worse for wear having auditioned for ’24 Hour Party People’ the night before?! We would therefore be starting late FFS! 1.30pm came and went and still no sign of Oscar…Finally he rocked up, calm as you like, and the toss could take place…North of Birmingham Fitmen call ‘heads’…Simples! Toss won! 😊 And a simple decision to bat first with the weather looking decent plus a very short boundary on one side. Last season’s hammering at the hands of Harborne was still fresh in the mind…Meanwhile this season’s oppo would allegedly feature a mixture of 4th’s, 5th’s and some very handy 12 year old Warwickshire players…The stage was set…Let battle commence!

Batting

Harry and Stevie looked solid early doors – respectful of any decent deliveries whilst also looking to put away anything loose on offer. We were going along nicely when Harry was out for 22 after striking 5 boundaries. This brought the one and only Sammy Moore to the crease who, along with Gavalarr, had put Kings Heath to the sword in his previous Fit-outing sharing a remarkable Rocket-Ronnie-esque partnership of 147…Stevie and Sammy carried on pushing the score forward with positive running and some lovely shots down the ground until Stevie perished for a 42-ball 36 containing 7 boundaries. The one and only Frazzle TV now a Harborne player - without disposable petrol station blue glove - even came down to show his support which was really nice to see.
With the short boundary on one side FitSkipper thought it would be a good plan to elevate legendary all-rounder – and left handed batter - Ade Martin to number 4 so that we could access it from both ends with a right-hand/left-hand combination…What followed was a quite brilliant exhibition of power hitting with both Sammy and Ade finding the boundary almost at will! Just as Sam was coming off a very good score so too Ade had been in the runs mid-week. They were both making batting look ridiculously easy as Sam unleashed his trademark lofted drives down the ground while Ade pulled out a slog-sweep off the spinner and also drove and cut the quicker bowlers to ribbons. Sammy got to the magical three figures much to the delight of his skipper and his adoring Fit-team mates/fans which included the two Dave’s – Daddy Dave and Buddy Dave – a really nice touch!

With Sammy’s ton consolidated our attention turned to Mr Martin who continued to rotate the strike and also put away any beige buffet on offer. Nearing his maiden ton all Fitmen watching at the boundary’s edge stayed exactly where they were. None of us were moving…anywhere!! The tension was palpable with Ade now on 96 and the watching audience now well and truly on the edge of their seats. He then smashed one down the ground which looked for all the world like it was going for four…We were literally about to jump up and salute Ade’s three figures when Oscar, still half-cut from the night before, decided to produce what can only be described as an Academy-award winning bit of fielding to not only race after the ball but also pick it up one handed on the bounce low down and fizz it in…FFS!! Adrian was denied but surely this was just a temporary ‘glitch in The Matrix’…Alas, the very next ball, things took a big turn for worse as Ade missed a straight one and was cleaned up…The deathly silence in the onlooking crowd told its own story…Ade then trudged off…Ninety Fucking Eight! He now knew exactly how Tantalus felt…So agonisingly close to FitImmortality…Ah well…He will get there one day…

Mr ‘007’ Moore finished with an epic 72-ball 108 containing 19 fours and three maximums at a SR of 150…Perfection! Not to be outdone Mr Martin’s 98 was at a rollicking T20 SR of 163 also with 19 fours.

The rest of the innings felt like a bit of an anticlimax but there was a very useful contribution from Bicey who walloped 34 off just 19 deliveries striking at 179!! One of his sixes was smashed over the longer boundary and actually took a couple of slates off the roof of a house!! Magnifique! There was even time for Fit skipper Nokia to nudge and nurdle the team up to a HUGE 327-5…At the time of the match this was actually a Fit record!!

Bowling

There is no finer sight at the tea interval than spotting a tearaway fast bowler marking out his run up…Joe Little had been recruited by the skipper from the Birmingham Uni team. Fair to say he had an extra yard up his sleeve – time for some ‘Fire in Babylon!

Joe would take the new ball with Waseem and immediately he set the tone by sprinting in and hitting the splice of the opener’s bat by bowling a heavy length at decent pace. Meanwhile Waseem was plugging away from the bottom end with his usual metronomic accuracy. Skipper was told by Waz to field in the gully, and would you believe it, the Harborne first teamer who looked in decent nick, edged one soon after which flew to Nokia and was snaffled at head height as he moved sharply to his right. We were off to a good start – it felt like a pivotal moment in the match.

The opening spell yielded only 39 runs off the first 12 overs. Harborne were in need of Bazball but were going along at just 3’s. Time to bring on the spinner and a bit of mystery in the shape of the ever-reliable Billy ‘The Bard’ – (as in Shakespeare) and late call-up (Omar) Sharif. Both bowled maidens to apply pressure with Bill picking up 2 wickets and Our Kid a very tidy three. Skipper Nokia came on with Raj both picking up a wicket a piece to keep the pressure on the young Harborne side – one snaffled smartly by Sam off his own bowling to remove the Warwickshire U12 player. Two from two soon became 3/3 and then 4 from 4 when Nokia also caught the Harborne skipper Oscar at square leg. 4 catches is a fine effort from an outfielder and surely up there in the Fit-record books?! Catches win matches as they say and there was even time for a short cameo from Harry who picked up a wicket when the tailender holed out to Sammy Moore in the covers.

Harborne finished up on a paltry 145 all out. What a win and against a Birmingham league club!! A hammering by 182 runs!! A genuine team performance with contributions from everyone but a big shout has to go to Sammy Moore for a wonderful century (the first of many in what would prove to be hell of a season from Halesowen’s finest) and also to Ade for a fantastic 98.

The Fitmen celebrated the win at the Harborne first team bar and rumours would abound that Oscar would have let the ball go past him to the boundary had he known what score Ade was on…But that just wouldn’t be cricket really would it?! You have to take the rough with the smooth…Good days and the bad…I guess that is why we play this great game after all.