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Fixtures and Results | Match Reports

Date Against H/A Link Result Captain/Score
Thu 18 / 8 / 2011 WMD Away Lost by 6 wickets. Old Mo 89 Oppo 90-4.


Old Mo 89 all out
WMD 90-4
WMD win by 6 wickets

Area = ½ ab sin (alpha + beta) = ½ bc sin (Beta + gamma) = ½ ca sin (gamma + alpha)

The venue was the remarkable triangular pitch that somehow has 3 different train lines running on each edge of the triangle – how does that work? London Midland running on two sides and Virgin Cross Country on the 3rd. First challenge: cross the ‘live’ track with the club kit......to the quaintly preserved wooden changing facility (boy that wouldn’t have lasted just a few miles down the road last week!).

As students of triangles (or train spotters?) will know the formula above is of course the two-dimensional Euclidean method of calculating the area of the pitch expressing vector AB as a free vector in Cartesian space.

Some years ago (a Sunday game I think) the highlight of the visit was the sight of the Mallard hauling the Brighton Belle carriages northbound. On a murky Thursday there were only the standard commuter services, interspersed by a Virgin Cross Country aiming for New St and possibly onwards to the West Country. Even the EW&S Freight train travelling the hypotenuse was lack lustre with a disappointing load comprising just 9 trucks.

Your correspondent only saw the Fitmen innings but can probably guess what happened in the ‘2nd half’!

Rain was forecast for just about everywhere and with the 4th test at the Oval only getting about 20 overs all day, the portents weren’t good. However the desert that is Handsworth Wood appeared completely untouched when the Fitmen arrived. No doubt some wags would suggest the pitch had been untouched all season which is probably unfair but an easy mistake to make.

The pitch inspection resembled a search and rescue mission for cockle pickers in Morecombe Bay when the tide was out.............and on winning the toss (at last he called tails!) Jim elected to bat. The logic was (probably?) that the pitch was clearly going to misbehave for everyone and it might be better to be able to see it as opposed to batting on a nightmare in the dark.

First up pair of Bice and Howarth quickly figured out that playing ‘correctly’ was a waste of time and got into slapping mode. This required some luck since full deliveries were rearing over the batsman’s head on occasion whilst others zipped low. They rode their luck and the slapping included some train track bound 6s to give the visitors a decent platform (geddit?).

Sunny’s main contribution during the batting innings was his foray down the ‘live’ track to retrieve a Howarth maximum, though he did take one for the team before calling for a ‘lid’. Quite a bump from a well pitched up ball resulting in either his head getting bigger around the temple or he had started growing a 2nd head.

Everyone else did what they could – which wasn’t much. More like a game of Russian Roulette than cricket really. Of course the boy Johny Ashton excelled and became the first Fitman for some time (surely not ever? Ed) to achieve a King Pair. This one followed on from the previous weekend’s ‘come back’ game. Don’t imagine the Yummies will get to hear of that particular feat of daring do!

So 89 actually looked half decent considering.

The hosts however had a different idea and (as you do when chasing a smallish total) went for it, knowing that luck will play a good part and if the bowling wasn’t spot on then edges and slaps would win the game.

And so it proved....................a decent opening spell from Ralphie went something like 4, no ball, wicket, 4 etc. Sean bustled in at the top end but got slapped having little experience of playing on reclaimed waste land.

Dinner then called and your correspondent returned home for a Pasta Carbonara accompanied by a fruity Cote Du Rhone. Apologies to those in the know – should really have been a Barolo (a powerful red wine made in the Piedmont region of northern Italy from the Nebbiolo grape) whose flavours including chocolate, liquorice, figs, leather and tar would be more appropriate.

News came in over desert (Hartley’s Frujie* – don’t ya love ‘em?) that Raj and Sunny bowled well with little luck and a 6 wicket win for the hosts was the outcome.

Compare and contrast – next match on a bowling green at Stratford!
* http://www.hartleysfruit.co.uk/range/hartleys-frujies-pots/