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Fixtures and Results | Match Reports

Date Against H/A Link Result Captain/Score
Sun 21 / 8 / 2011 Stratford-upon-Avon Away Lost by 198 runs. Oppo 320-7. Old Mo 122-9.


Stratford 320-7 (40), Fitmen 122-9 both (40)

True is it that we have seen better days,
And have with holy bell been knoll'd to church,
And sat at good men's feasts, and wip'd our eyes
Of drops that sacred pity hath engend'red; And therefore sit you down in gentleness,
And take upon command what help we have
That to your wanting may be minst'red.

(As You Like It Act 2, Scene 7)

Thus speaks the Duke Senior to Orlando, (when the hero Orlando encounters this rag-tag group of deposed courtiers), to show that though in their diminished state, they had not forgotten their manners.

And in such a diminished state, yet still retaining their manners, did the Fitmen return from defeat at the birthplace of the immortal bard.

Truly it was a wondrous scene that greeted them on their arrival, which would have inspired any romantic hero to compare his love to a summer’s day. The weeping willows fringing the verdent outfield, the sumptuous pavilion, the rock hard wicket of such stuff as dreams are made on, the tempting sight of a row of car windscreens well within range of a well-timed pull shot...

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown of captaincy when losing the toss on such a track, but with a decent enough bowling attack optimism ran high. A lean and hungry look filled Ralphie’s eyes as he began the opening over, but on the second ball a costly drop at slip brought forth the crack of doom. It truly was the unkindest cut of all as the opener in question went on to make 68. Though the other opener ( recruited from the Stratford 1st team) was snapped up cheaply by Ralphie courtesy of Tucker M; the next 18 overs till drinks passed by with only sporadic chances, to leave the score on 104 for 1.

What was to follow was a round unvarnished tale of such tragedy that Shakespeare himself would have dismissed it as being too far-fetched. 220 runs came from the next 20 overs with balls dispatched to all parts and off all bowlers. An LB, (or not LB) from Sunny, catches courtesy of Sharif, Rob Green and Ralphie and a smart stumping by Tucker (though the batsman didst protest too much) at least allowed some wickets to be taken, but a target of 321 under a darkening portentious sky, was something to ponder over a tea that wasn’t exactly food from the Gods.

“When shall we three meet again?” was the question posed by Messrs Caesar, Howarth and Tucker just prior to the innings. In about 3.4 overs was the answer, as all departed to the strange occurrence of an all-spin opening attack. “Once more unto the breach dear friends”, was the cry from the pavilion as Butcher (32), Green (15) and Raj (20) attempted to bring some respectability out of adversity. A brief cameo from Sunny led on to the arrival of Ian “The Wall” Nutt. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valour, stubborn defence allowed the Fitmen to see out their overs and close on 122 for 9, thus avoiding the humiliation of a 200+ defeat, at least. And so it was a return to the pavilion and an assay of the plot over a pint of Purity.

(With Apologies to Bill Shakespeare)

* Comedy moment of the afternoon was the ball bouncing over the diving Nutt to the strains of “The
Dambusters” drifting over from the adjacent bandstand.